m p k m c

by andrew cs

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the first thing I do when I get to my parents house is tune my brothers guitar to DADF#AD with an app on my phone I think my brother is the musician of the family because he took lessons. he didn't take either of his guitars with him to college. my sister used to play piano but I forget if she took lessons. I took piano lessons a long time ago and don't I remember them at all. a piano moving person took away the piano. I would've played it but now I just play guitar. my parents killed my cat before I got home today. he peed on the carpets.
jeff was the white guy in my Uber pool on the way here. he turned around and asked me and the other man in the Uber pool what a good stocking stuffer is for Christmas since he's hosting Christmas this year. I said an external battery charger. he thought that was a great idea. the reason why he was in the Uber was that he was going to buy his first piece of jewelry for his girlfriend. the other man in the Uber pool, Jacobsen, reinforced how that was an important step in a relationship. Jeff revealed that he was planning to spend around $600. he figured that was enough to mean something but not too much to break the bank. our Uber driver, Sead, said that was a pretty good number. he recommended a particular jewelry store because they had the best deals when he went to buy a ring for his wife. I didn't say anything about that.
this song is about my arm. usually this happens because I don't know how to be anxious but this time it happened because I don't know how to be sad. I don't think I've been sad since high school. I made another album about my emotions. I can't listen to it anymore, and I probably won't be able to listen to this one anymore. I don't know why I do this I really don't. I don't know if it helps me or makes it worse but I just know I have to.
I was sitting in a chair by myself and my uncle came over and asked If I planned on staying in the city and I said yes. He said you know when you get married and you have kids you know it gets kind of hard to stay in the city. I said I'm not planning on doing that so I should be ok where I am. He said yea you will. I felt uncomfortable about what my uncle said so I got up and walked away and tried to just be by myself without seeming rude or immature. I don't know how others see me and sometimes I don't care and other times I do.
I'm not good at making sad songs but I tried my best. this is for you. I wish things were better for you. I wish everyone treated you better. you're gone now but it's o-k. it'll be ok.


this is about difficult growth
this is realizing an end after it's ended
this is stumbling over my sentences
this is trying to figure out me
this is about the strangers that raised me
this is for my cat


released December 31, 2018




andrew cs Chicago, Illinois


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